A final word—#30 of the 30 day challenge to blog

Thank you. I felt it was important to begin with you all knowing that I am grateful to each and everyone of you for taking the time to read a few of these 30 blogs. All five of you. You’re much kinder than I would have been to you…just being honest…I really started out writing because I told my friend that I wondered if I should write a book, and he’s the one that challenged me to start with the 30 day challenge.

I told him that I was hesitant because I didn’t know if it would be helpful for anyone, because I didn’t want to write bullshit. I just wanted to be me. When I decided to talk in this blog, how I just normally talk. With no masks, and no pulling punches…I was chatting with my wife, and I told her my reason was I just wanted to help people. Even if it was just a few. Even if I pissed most people off with my transparency, but was able to help a few riff-raffs it would have been worth it. And there are plenty of voices out there. Pious voices. Voices of teaching. Voices of preaching. Voices of advice, and self-help. Voices of shame, caution, and regret. I don’t even really know what my voice is, or if it’s for me to decide…but I wasn’t so much concerned any of that…I just wanted to be me…which is a sinner that has been seized by the Power of a great affection, and transformed into a saint by the blood of Jesus. It’s not something earned. It’s been something given.

But still what do I have to say? I’m no theologian, and I’m too A.D.D. to be a contemplative. I’m not very good at being good, and therefore no expert on encouraging others to do what I haven’t ever been able to accomplish, and frankly not that interested in. Not that I don’t aspire to obedience and responding to the love of God. But because of the latter I’ve given up on all notions of “being a good Christian”…and as Rich Mullins signed his autographs…I’m just concerned with “Being God’s”.

They say no one should write a book, until they’ve become an expert, and lived long enough to have something to say. I say: bullshit. Everyone has a story. Everyone knows pain. And everyone is different. I once heard a story that an arrogant pastor told one of his pupils that he couldn’t learn anything from anyone under 18. Gross. Lucy, my daughter, hasn’t even reached two, and she teaches me every day.

While I don’t believe in inter-faith worship…I do believe in inter-faith friendships. And while the hill I am willing to die on, is the opposite of pluralism and universalism…and I’ll preach to my dying day that Jesus is the one and the only way…and salvation in this life and the life to come is found in “accepting the fact that you’re accepted”…by God alone…and Grace alone…etc etc…I have learned plenty from those who have chosen to put their faith in something else. For as Tim Keller said, “It’s impossible to not have faith. Even if you’re are an atheist…you don’t know that there isn’t a God…so you have faith that that is true…and live out of that reality.” (or something like that…that’s paraphrased a bit). I have learned from them. I don’t agree with them on everything. But just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.

I said if I ever wrote a book I wanted to read one from someone who doesn’t have all the answers, and doesn’t pretend to be one who does, by having a few points, and then quoting someone else the whole time. I want to read a book not from somebody who has made it, but from someone who is still on the journey.

And that’s all I’ve done the last 30 days. It’s been healing, and hurtful. It’s be fulfilling, and emotionally draining. It’s been helpful to know as my friend St. Jimmy said, “At least you know if you sit down to write…something will come out.” That’s true. Days I’ve been tired, angry, depressed, and lazy. Yet even in the worst of these blogs…there’s been a sentence or two I’ve enjoyed.  That’s mostly why I preach so much, whoever might listen, and I go on and on and on about the love of God…not exclusively because I enjoy it, but more because I need it. So I preach the furious love of God for you…but mainly it’s for me. Because it is faith after all, but in my own journey it’s been faith that’s opened up a door to a deeper reality, or should I say a deeper person…deeper than myself…Jesus. I talk so much about it, preach so much about it, think so much about it…because I never want to become immune to how much I need him and his love.

I will no longer be boring you with posting on my Facebook…but if you’re interested I might occasionally post to : davidleoschultz.wordpress.com…and if you’re not…I don’t blame you. So just in case this is the last thing you ever hear from me, or read by me…let me say this…

Jesus loves you. More than you can possibly imagine. I believe his love is furious, and not because he is, but because there is a fury and a fiery passion to his love. Sure he doesn’t like sin, much like we don’t. Who enjoys hearing about awful things happening to children, or innocent people in far off countries or even next door being murdered. It makes us mad right? Well God too get’s furious, angry, and feels pain that we do these things to each other…but all the anger, fury, and wrath that God has was poured out on his son Jesus for you and the rest of us. Love & grace win. If you let it win…if you let it win in your heart…if you can have the easy and yet mind boggling crazy faith to “accept the fact that you’re accepted.”

I mentioned earlier Lucy has taught me something. More specifically God has taught me something through Lucy. He taught me that he loves me more than I could possibly “intellectualize or imagine.” In the last 16 months, my heart has grown so many sizes, much like the Grinch who stole Christmas, it’s popping out of my chest. All day and night I think about my sweet and beautiful child. When she stubs her toe, or has to get shots, or is sick. I don’t just pat her on the head…I grab her, hold her, squeeze her, and love her with everything I am. And yet I let her have pain in her life, to get shots, because I love her. I don’t giver her everything she wants to play with like knives, or electric sockets…because I love her. I am head over heals about my daughter. As soon as she get’s up I want to smother her with hugs and kisses…and when she goes to bed I want to be the one to hold her and rock her to sleep. And this is how I love Lucy. God being bigger than I am, and deeper than I am, and just Absolutely More than I am…is able to love more…because he is more…and nothing stands in the way of his love…not pain, circumstance, moodiness, or even death. Nothing.

Do you believe this? When you get hurt…do you know that God is not only hoping you feel better, but he is bleeding with you? Do you know he is thinking about you day and night, and never ever stops thinking about you. Do you know God allows pain in your life…because he loves you? Do you know that God hungers and thirsts with affection for you? Do you know that God isn’t like your mom or your dad…and his love is always present, and never based on how good you are or how bad you are? Do you know when you wake up in the morning he wants to smother you with hugs and kisses? Or when you go to bed he wants to be the one to hold you and rock you to sleep?

I hope so. So go and “abide in him and he will abide in you.”

Jesus Christ is crazy about you,

David Leo Schultz

link to blog: davidleoschultz.wordpress.com

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~ by David Leo Schultz on November 4, 2015.

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